Something Jenn and Melissa said to me on the air the other day made a lot of sense. I’m not used to dealing with “good girls” in the early game so I stick to what I know, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being a “good guy” when given the opportunity. It's more me than me.
These days I meet women when I’m at a bar/club (fairly steady) or when I’m set up by a friend (more than steady). Our circles grow smaller as we get older, so what I know, is what I do. The only “rub” is that there’s a huge gap between what a guy uses when dealing with some girl we pick up and don’t really care about yet and the way we deal with a girl we are forced to respect from the beginning.
“What the hell do you mean “forced to respect!?,” you cry, sharpening your letter-openers and various other objects within reach of your computer.
Hold on. Let me explain. Single guys want to get laid… all the time. When we know we are probably going to be sleeping with you in the very near future, we don’t really have to worry about anything other than what it takes to get you there. There is a large group of guys out there to whom your mothers were totally right about.
Explained? No? Hmm… Well, remember that how your man thinks of you now is usually a helluva lot different than how he thought of you then. How did we think of you back then? Well for me, “She’s cute. Let’s do this.,” comes to mind. To be honest, a lot of us didn’t “think of you” in any way. I’m pretty sure we weren’t thinking about whether you were funny, sweet, had “kind eyes,” would treat us well, etc. I’ll learn to respect you as a person later, like after I find out if I’m even interested in learning that in the first place. For now, let me respect you for going back to my place because “I promise I’ll sleep on the couch. I don’t want you riding home with your drunk friends.”
“How romantic…” ::sigh::
Side note:
Maybe you don’t remember your guy lying to you or acting like you “weren’t such hot shit” to pick you up (that sadly works). Maybe your man was sweet and sincere and funny and charming. I’ve met a lot of those guys too. I’ve acted like that guy too. I probably AM that guy too. But that business don’t fly at Fever. (For the record I have never gotten laid as a direct result of going to Fever. However, I have never gotten a drink thrown in my face as a result either. Massive success!) That kind of guy wants to get laid (all the time), but doesn’t want to go through the work it takes to do it. It’d be nice to say he just won’t stoop to “those tactics” wouldn’t it? Heh… he would if he didn’t think about it so much. But no, he’s the one at the table drinking with his friends that keeps looking your way then fake-laughing at one of his friends fake-jokes, then looking your way again, then never getting up, then never walking over, then always going home a little too drunk and a little too alone… yeah… that’s the one. I have a few friends like that if you’re interested. Good guys. Normal guys. I’m usually with them at the table… until I remember I want to get laid… all the time. Back to the topic...
So let’s take the Blake look at the “semi-blind date/group date” opening. This is the area I imagine a lot of woman and guys find themselves (it’s always fun to not have to do work). However, in this situation I’m no longer dealing with the “You’re cute. Let’s do this,” scenario. Now I have to think about stuff other than getting laid. Your average guy has to like “listen” and stuff. Be honest about what he does, where he lives, who he is. This is a problem. I just recently behaved like a total ass to a girl I met out of a similar situation when she called-me-out for exercising my “inner-douche.” Now I’m back in it again with my sister-in-law’s best friend. I feel a little off balance. I can’t focus on saying/doing/behaving in all the ways I usually do in those first few weeks because those behaviors would get me severely beaten and taken off the “godfather list” for any future nephews (sister-in-law’s bestest friend in the whole wide world remember?). So now you’re telling me I gotta respect this girl enough to be myself and shit? That sucks. Don’t get me wrong, I can play that game too. This was just a lot easier when she was “just some girl I met” and I could focus on getting laid… all the time.
There is something flawed with this system. If the guys that act like pricks are getting both the “good girls” and the “bad girls” and the “good guys” are only getting the “good girls.” Then, when are the “bad girls” gonna get their “good guys” too? I have a headache, and it’s all bullshit anyway people. The truth is, the tail you pull is the tail you pull. There aren’t really “good and bad” people. Just “shy and confident” or “insecure and cocky” people. The guy at the bar may use a different front-end to pull you but you’ll get to know the real him down the line. (maybe he’s still worthless, maybe it was all an act) At the same time that sweet charming guy could turn out to be Charles Manson.
What do they say on the news? “He was such a kind man. Such a friendly man. I never would have imagined he was eating the toe-nail clippings of the neighborhood dogs and killing all those nuns with a pasta tong.”
So like I said in the beginning, I continue to stick to what I know. I play the same game any guy would to meet the objective, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a New Years vacation to Hilton Head to get to know you better. And I like remembering stuff you tell me. It’s pretty cool when you know someone’s favorite tree is an Oak. Wait… no it’s not… Christ… anyway. I guess that’s the difference between my two dating circles right now. One has me getting laid, not knowing if it was worth it. The other has me getting to know you… not knowing if it was worth it… heh. Thanks Jenn and Melissa, you gave me a topic for the week ;)
Blake’s Tail-Sighting for the week: Churchhill’s in Buckhead. That place was freaking packed as of Jan 5 with wall to wall girl-tail and guy-tail. Hit it before the universities and NYE resolutions kick into high gear.
