Please excuse the following article if it feels a bit rushed. I've been on vacation the last week and change in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Man it's great saying that. "I've been on vacation in Santa Fe, New Mexico." Haha... Ahem! Composure...
I recently got a call from a girl that had gotten the "no dice" in my book. I didn't hang up... She got me thinking... There are certain "situations" that I try to stay away from... typically it's prudes, serious folks, or women on a mission for commitment, but let's add to that, Chili's waitresses. Not because I know something you don't... just because I like blanket decrees, and this girl had me blankify the group. (Well... until another really really hot one comes along.)
When I was younger I was given the advice of "never run your mouth for the sake of talking." My uncle told me, if you have to say something, make it worthwhile. Well I run my mouth all the time. It's my thing. So I'm already screwed. Fine words spoken on unfocused ears. But I got the drift. Get an idea of what your saying and who you're saying it to, before you run your mouth. "Check." When it comes to the first date with the Chili's girl, well... I don't want to say conversation was like pulling teeth... but yeah... let's use that "old timer" analogy.
This was a girl that was dedicated to Chili's. If there is a middle management recruiter for that organization they need to focus on lower Forsyth County. Something in the water there is growing dedication. Take advantage. I met her at... ahem... Chili's and struck up a conversation at the bar (not the table) where my friend and ego couldn't find me if I failed. Waitresses are tricky business no matter where you're at. They're used to getting hit on as a playful thing so you never know if they "get" what you're shooting for. Plus they've heard it all before. So yeah, it's hard for us. At the restaurant they're there to make some cash, and if you can provide it you're on top of the "flirt pile" for the night. It's hard to learn if a waitress is into you or just "working." I got lucky. "Chili's" told the guy I was with, "tell your friend to stop checking me out" in a playful way. (My eyes do roam.) I got a little red and fessed up to being the "bad guy." It's funny how that works. It's creepy unless you like us right? Then it's kinda hot? I don't get that. I'll just keep doing whatever works I guess. Anyway...
"Chili's" was interesting. After speaking to her on the phone I learned she had a "game face" at work and a true side off clock. At work she had been flirty, witty, and kinda sexy. On the phone I was drifting off. This is saying something. I only do well in general because I have fun with people. I can make any situation endurable by acting like a fool or grinning, or making light of the everyday. That's my "in." So I'm pretty good at pulling us out of a dive when needed. I couldn't raise this girl. We kept talking about Chili's. The bartender, the waitresses, the customers. I figured it was nervousness but no... this girl loved some Chili's. This was boring to me, but she loved it. I was just trying to have a good time... and uh... get a "shot" so... "endurance."
When I asked her where she was having me take her for dinner, I expected her to list some joint she had never been right? Usually people in the restaurant business know what's hot at the moment and have the inside scoop on the best/new places in the area. TGI Friday's people. I can't make this up. She told me she really wanted to go to TGI Friday's. This was the coveted restaurant she wanted me to take her to. I nodded to myself and suggested a few Atlanta places on the radar (names withheld until I get financial compensation). But this girl really wanted TGI Friday's. They had a new menu and she really wanted to try it. (Like I said, I can't make this up.)
So we went to the joint. I had tried to shift her opinion and failed, so I gave in. She dressed like it was a date, but it just felt wrong. This joint had kids running around all over the place and was famous for the "Jack Daniels" steak. I don't get it. Now I'm sure for a few people TGIF is a great time. I mean, the Jack Daniels steak is probably delicious (do they still have that?). But I was out of my element... usually you people (women) say "where ever is ok," because you genuinely don't care. You just want to have a nice dinner, get a chance to ask us a few questions, and look at us long enough to decide whether we are worth a damn. (I would fail that test by the way) But this girl was so "matter of factly" pro-TGIF I had no recourse... I was being used to get an inside scoop on the competition! This is a first date people.
So here I am looking over a fajita/chicken fingers menu and I feel like I'm not doing it justice. She is reading the hell out of this sucker! I have never seen a woman look more intently at a menu. Ever. She is treating it like an Ayn Rand novel and there's a test Thursday for this girl. I can' believe it. She's "mad-dogging" the waiter for Christ's sake! She's taking on that tone with him where you think he's lying to you. "So exactly which medley of vegetables does it come with?" "So if it doesn't have that, it really isn't a Caesar salad then is it?" "Wow, I've never had a hamburger that didn't come with pickles." It could be "When Harry Met Sally" cute if it wasn't happening to me... Not cute folks.
I am half way through an attempt at conversation when the food arrives. "They don't even give you a salad fork." Does Chili's??? I don't know! I've been used people. I have been taken advantage of and used like some cheap... "simply heavenly" chocolate item. I was being used for "covert ops" over "the enemy." This was war and she was practically encrypting the menu in code for the Chili's HQ. I hadn't even been given the "Rosetta"... The rest of the evening wasn't a turn on. I learned a little about her, but mostly realized how into her job at Chili's she was. Her family was the staff, her "moments" were the times held in-between customers. She was happy. She had tried a regular 9-5 at a bank and it hadn't been the same. And as I listened to her, completely bored out of my mind, I realized that there wasn't anything wrong with that. It wasn't right for me, but who cares. I followed my uncle's advise. I didn't say anything. She wasn't "running her mouth for the sake of talking." She was talking about what she cared about. If it wasn't something I cared about... well... that's on me.
As you can imagine, it didn't go anywhere. But I did learn why the seats and walls are so ridiculously colored and decorated at Chili's. It's supposed to make you uneasy and lead you to the door. I also learned that they make there money from drinks and dessert, not the entree (higher margin of profit). I sat, surrounded by "See the California Redwood Forest" signs and Chile pepper decor and was bored out of my mind. But I started listening. Not to what she was saying, but how she was saying it. I could write an article about how it was "the worst date I have ever been on," and honestly, I even started out that way. But I think it showed me something else. She was comfortable being herself to a guy she had just met. That is awesome. More people should get that. It didn't work out but who cares... I am hardly a prize people.
She'll find her perfect guy around the bend. And he'll find her quirky nature endearing and "When Harry Met Sally" cute. That's awesome too. You just learn to listen... and that's important. If the guy is rolling his eyes then screw him. Look for the guy that'll listen. He'll probably groan and moan and honestly be bored out of his mind, but in the end, he at least listened to what you gave a crap about in the first place. Hell, I'll probably still be contemplating whether to go chicken or steak on the fajita. I'll think on it... I tend to go "combo."
